The Heat is on! - Smoke Trailer Part Deux

© Dick Kramer - View his incredible artwork here!

The Heat is on!

As Fire Academy continued, the pressure and the stress began to boil down to physical exhaustion and mental fatigue. I realized that I was going to need to find ways to relieve stress, however, that is difficult with a 16-22 hour commitment on top of your regular 40 hour work week! I was missing out on my kids' school and extra curricular activities as well as time with my friends and extended family. That is very difficult since I am a very social individual.

I was also missing out on my spiritual commitment. Fire Academy nights were Tuesday, Thursday and from 8-4 on Saturday. Since I am a Seventh-day Adventist, (we go to church on Saturday, like the Jews) it was now impossible for me to worship at church even though there are 2 churches in the area. One holds a morning service and the other an afternoon service. This was very difficult for me as worship is a way for me to keep myself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally focused.

I missed concerts, plays, football games, wrestling meets, dinners, family gatherings, hanging out with friends, and so much more.

Sleep and prayer became my only sources of rest and revitalization. The company and the academy became my outlet for socialization.

Though I didn't see it at the time, this stress brought me back to where I needed to be - mentally, physically, and spiritually. It helped me focus and concentrate on what is necessary.

This focus helped me make one very quick decision that kept me from landing on my head - literally!

Smoke Trailer Part Deux

The second night we went through the smoke trailer I was settling into my role as a firefighter and a member of our company while managing the mental stress of claustrophobia in order to concentrate on the goal - finding the "victim".

This time we were split into teams of two. I was preparing my mind for the task as Wash-Out and Buffalo climbed out of the door, smoke pouring from the trailer. They had found the victim.

Our Instructor opened the door for Double-D and me and said, "Find the victim and get out. Anyway you can." I couldn't help but feel as though that was a hint to the test ahead of us.

Double-D said, "Take the lead. I'll concentrate on the path." So I took the lead and climbed into the dark.

The path was similar as it was previously but there seemed to be a couple of twists and turns that I wasn't expecting. Thankfully we did not have to crawl under another obstruction either! At one point I felt an opening to my left and forward and we chose the forward path.

The pain in my knees was telling me that I had bruised and scraped them as sweat and dirt ground in. I was feeling confused and hoping that I could remember the way back. I remembered what my wife had said about acting as if I were looking for my children. I said a silent prayer for strength, courage, and situational awareness as I tried to slow my breathing.

As we scrambled down another hallway I felt an opening ahead and barreled forward shouting to Double-D, "Straight ahea---

My words were cut short as my right arm went straight through the floor. In the moment, I instinctively stretched my left arm out straight and caught my entire body weight - with the addition of 70 pounds of gear - with the back of my left arm. It was an excruciating pain that ran through my entire core as I held all of my weight and scrambled to bring myself up out of the hole. I could feel my partner pushing me forward as I yelled back to Double-D, "Stop! Stop! There's a hole in the floor!"

I pushed back with all my might and came to a crouching position at the edge of the hole.

The bruise from catching myself. (This is a mirror image.)

"Feet first, Glenn!" yelled Double-D. So I looked into the blackness around and below me and as I watched a whisp of smoke drift past my face piece I began to second guess how I had gotten here. Not a question of why I was sitting above a hole in a dark smoke-filled trailer, but how I had mustered the courage to even get into Fire Academy and put myself through this.

In the back of my mind I felt an urge to know and understand my limits. As my arm ached from the painful full-body catch and my body-heat baked my skin in the PPE I knew this was the first time I had reached one of my mental limits. Would I be stronger than this limitation? I was about to find out.

I shuffled my legs into the hole, hoping to feel for the floor and felt nothing. I slowly lowered myself into the hole, dipping below my waste and trunk, still hoping for the floor.

"Let's go Glenn!" shouted Double-D. As I dropped down into the abyss below me I hoped there even was a floor to land on. In my surprise it was right there below me. I felt a little ashamed to be so scared as I shuffled into what felt like a corner of a small room.

I looked up as I saw the lights from Double-D's HUD shining off his face. He kicked his feet into the opening as I yelled, "Watch the drop! It's not too far down here!"

He dropped right in front of me and we both began to feel around the room we were in. "Glenn we need to move forward!"

Double-D was now barreling into the dark ahead of me as I grasped his pant-leg. I began to try to remember which direction we were going so we could get back to the hole we had dropped through. I remembered almost nothing after that point. The anxiety of being responsible for remembering which way we were going overwhelmed me. I think we a took a couple of lefts and a right and I heard Double-D shout, "I've got the victim!"

Just as I breathed a sigh of relief that we had found the victim and would now be on our way out, my low air-alarm went off.

Double-D looked me in the eyes and said, "Let's go Glenn!"

I turned around and we crawled back to the hole. I stood up and felt for the opening, grabbing the edge and jumping up into the tunnel. I felt Double-D push as I jumped, effectively throwing me into the roof of the tunnel.

After I had bounced back to the floor I turned around and reached for the "victim". I tucked the doll next to me and then reached for Double-D. As he jumped I pulled him up through the hole. I had to quickly shuffle into the tunnel to make room for him. He looked at me and shouted, "Take the lead! Let's go!"

This was as far of the path we had taken that I could remember. I was now leading us out without a clue on which way to go. I was desperately flailing my arms along the walls feeling for a direction out. I came to a junction with a 45 degree turn and a 90 degree turn and could not remember which way we had come.

© Capt. Schmoe: Check out his blog here!

"Double-D I feel 2 turns!" I shouted, hoping he would tell me which way we were going. I couldn't really hear him shouting to me over the clang of my low-air alarm. In my rush to get out I made the decision to take the 45 degree turn, heading slightly back in the opposite direction. I tucked the "victim" in my arm and hustled forward into a wall. A dead end!

I felt overwhelmed as my low-air alarm began to vibrate against my face. My mind was screaming at me to run as my teeth were buzzing. I clenched my jaw hard and grasped at the walls for an exit. "There's no way out! We're at a dead-end!" I yelled to Double-D. I thought perhaps the instructors had moved the maze to test us and the memory of the instructor who opened the door to the trailer for us flew to the forefront of my mind.

I acted instinctively and threw my shoulder against the wall and felt it give. It was nothing more than a panel fitted into a track along the wall. I grabbed the edges and mightily pushed it loose from the track! I was going to get out and be free!

A bright light shone just beyond the wall I had just removed and I felt a rush of cool wind blow directly toward me. As I reached for the light I heard, "What are you doing?! Did you just blow out my wall?! Go back the way you came!" The instructor snatched the panels from my hands and slammed the door in my face.

Somehow, over my anger and shame and vibrating low-air alarm I could hear Double-D laughing. "Let's go! This way!" He laughed as he turned around.

I grabbed his pant-leg and took a right turn and there was the exit door.

As we stepped into the cool night and took off our helmets and face-pieces the instructor snatched the "victim" from my hands saying, "I can't believe you blew out my wall! I told you go back the way you came!"

As funny as it was after the training, I realized that I had failed that test. I had panicked and may not have found the exit. However, that's why firefighters work together as a team. With the help of my partner I had handled the stress again and realized that I had the strength to make it through as long as I functioned as part of my company. I could do nothing alone, but together we would get through anything we faced.

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How do you handle stress on the fireground? How do you keep your focus on the job and off the job? Do you have a story to share about smoke trailer or confined space search and rescue?